I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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