perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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