There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize