nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
