You just made me feel so damn special
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize