Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just puked most of my soul out..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
