and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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