so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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