I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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