i just had sex bonerless
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
