OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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