I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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