It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
