I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
