trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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