anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
