They should really pass out barf bags in church
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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