I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Quick, to the slutcave!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
