it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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