I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
