Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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