i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
