True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize