You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
