woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
