I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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