I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
