I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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