shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
