I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
