If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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