my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
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