Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
