gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
