; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
