Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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