I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
