he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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