Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
