I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
