Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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