She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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