Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
