went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
