His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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