I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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