The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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