Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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