Can i not drive my cunt home
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
