I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
