He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
