Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
