Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize