While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
