So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
