I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
