She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize