What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
