I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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