How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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