The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
