Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
