which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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